As you may know, I started hanging out with Adam and Matt from Barbershop Labs last Monday. That lasted for about three days and then I needed some time off. Actually, I had a good reason to head to the beach, my sister Barbara got married. Which meant pack up the entire family, gas up the minivan and head on down to the Jersey Shore. I'm happy to report that we made it there and back in one piece and for the most part our sanity is still intact. At least it's no worse off than it was before Thursday morning.
I was informed before we left that no matter what I was not allowed to complain about anything. Which for me is no easy task. But believe it or not, all (or at least most) of the the things I figured would annoy me didn't. Why? Well as best I can figure it was because Barbara was so happy. Truth be told Barbara and I haven't always been that close over the years. We certainly haven't seen eye to eye on many things. I went away to school when she was 14 and I never really came back. A lot has changed since then and we were apart for most of it.
I am right-handed and Barbara is a lefty. An average phone conversation for me is about fifty seconds. For Barbara fifty minutes is probably below the average. That's just the tip of the iceberg. The list could go on and on. On the surface you might think we are as opposite as you could possibly be. On some levels I suppose it's true, but as I watched her and her new husband Justin start their new life together I realized that it's really not true.
It's easy to notice the differences. It's easy to focus on them, obsess over them and get upset over them. And I did that, for a long time - far too long.
I'll admit I was a bit jealous of Justin. As I was waiting to be introduced at the reception with my wife CJ, there were all four of Justin's grandparents in front of us and his parents behind us. Barbara had me, standing in for our parents. I stood there wearing one of my Dad's old shirts along with one of his seemingly thousands of ties. Proud, sad, happy and jealous. All at the same time if that's possible. The DJ asked for applause from the groom's side and then the bride's side - let's just say it was a little one-sided.
That's when I thought, I had it all wrong. While I was so busy noticing the differences I never took the time to see the similarities. Friday night I looked at Barbara and saw my Mom, my Dad, my Nana, even me. I looked at Barbara and I saw my kids - may God help me!
What I do remember growing up with Barbara was spending an awful lot of time watching her perform. Singing, dancing, you name it. One thing was always clear, she was happiest on stage and in the spotlight. In many ways that's where she was again on Friday - center stage and in the spotlight. I've never seen her happier.